I promised myself I wouldn't, but I'm afraid I've fallen in love with a little dog here in China.  She lives on my campus and is owned by a grounds keeper woman who has a little hut on the school grounds.  Jenna and I met her as a puppy last term when she was just a little thing with a gimp leg and now she has grown into a full grown 15-lb dog with a gimp leg.

I really love animals and it's always such a comfort to me to play with one.  I've refused to give her an English name in my head but have all sorts of nicknames for her (1st Violation).  She waits for me when I'm walking past her home and runs to greet me to quickly roll over so I can give her a belly rub.  If I try to walk away, she gets up on her hind legs and asks me to carry her (2nd Violation).

I've been trying to resist, but I actually looked up how to bring a dog back to America last night (3rd Violation).  I know that I couldn't do it because firstly, she kind of has an owner and secondly, my mom would throw both of us out.

Chinese people have a very different view of keeping a pet than we do in the West.  Dog's aren't revered as "man's best friend" and most people are actually kind of scared of dogs, even the tiniest "punt" ones.  The woman that owns this dog has another huge German Shepherd who is actually kept in a cage all day and it breaks my heart.  I also think I might be the only one to love on this little dog!

Well, I walked to class this morning to play with her (4th Violation) and found her tied to a fence behind the house with a 6 foot long chain.  She just looked so sad that I want to buy a wire cutter and hide her in my apartment until I go back to America.  This really breaks my heart and I don't know if i I can talk to her owner!  So this is my latest dilemma and it's really been bothering me all day.  I miss my dog at home, Albert, and can't wait until I can actually get a dog of my own.

TIC = This is China

Today when I was walking back from the gym I saw a man on the street just strolling along with two dead turtles hanging on a string.  Their necks were all stretched out and swinging as he casually walked down the road.  I felt slightly better when I realized that the Chinese people were also staring at him and another man even jumped out of the way and said something like "Oh crap!"

My big China moment for the week though has to do with the fact that I thought I had some sort of respiratory infection.  I started coughing up some nasty stuff on Thursday and had a pretty terrible throat-ache and uncomfortable feeling in my nasal passages.  I woke up on Friday feeling no better and complained about it to my coworkers and even my Chinese teacher, who all said they were experiencing the same thing and we all blamed it on the change in weather, since this week it has gone from below freezing to about 50 during the day. 

Then today I woke up and I thought I was in Beijing. 

The sky was pretty much orange and I could barely see the road that is about 200 yards in front of my building.  I went outside and it was super windy and at points I had to walk backward against the wind because there was too much dust in my face to actually see where I was going.  I should have worn my face mask.

So there you go, my second sand storm in China and my first in Shandong.  Today there was a sand storm in Beijing and apparently it has also reached down here in Qingdao and even as far as Shanghai.  Apparently this is the first sandstorm in Shandong in a long time and possibly ever. 

And if you're not grossed out enough by China, apparently one tenth of all cooking oil in China is actually drainage oil.  Why am I here again? 

On the plus side, this allows expats to start our own FML site: http://www.fmychinalife.com/

I think the sky just broke

I hear fireworks almost every day and sometimes even at night (for some reason a lot of them are set off during the day).  Chinese people light fireworks for the New Year, for birthdays, and especially for weddings.  I'm convinced they also just like setting off very large fireworks, too.

I can't blame them.  Fireworks are pretty awesome.  But these aren't the fireworks we buy for the 4th of July over here.  These are the huge boxes that you buy semi-legally to set off in large fields behind a house crossing your fingers that the cops won't show up and write you a ticket.

One of my first nights here, the chefs that work in the school cafeteria set off one of these fireworks boxes right outside my building, scared the shit out of me and a bunch of girls outside, and set off a car alarm.

Yesterday I was riding the bus back to campus and there were several fireworks boxes lined up in a parking lot outside of a restaurant, about 10 feet from a main road with many people standing in the parking lot just watching.  I should also mention that I was the only one craning my neck out the bus to watch these fireworks and the rest of the Chinese people on the bus just continued with their own things, despite the explosions overhead.

No wonder things like the CCTV Tower burned down because of illegal fireworks.  Granted, they also set off fireworks inside a building that didn't have sprinklers.  TIC, man.

On another note, I have a student named Fantasy.  A male student named Fantasy.  He kind of looks like Edward Scissorhands and even wore a silver metallic blazer to class. 

It's just too perfect.

Have yourself a very China Christmas

The idea of Christmas exists in China and the Chinese are all very aware of the holiday.  However, it's like if you hyper-secularized what we have in America and called it a holiday but didn't give anyone any time off.  I know that in America it has become a secular holiday, but here it is even more so because there is no context or deeper meaning (even if you don't believe in God, you still know why we have Christmas).

There are random Christmas decorations in shops, restaurants, and even my gym, mainly consisting of "Merry Christmas" signs, Christmas trees, and cut-outs of Santa.  It's mainly because of the fascination with anything Western.

Here is an article from the People's Daily, everyone's favorite English propaganda paper, about the growing zeal for Christmas in China.

Alison, what did you do this fine Christmas Eve? 

Oh well, gee, I'm glad (maybe not) you asked!  I taught two classes, ate lunch at the cafeteria, then wrote my final exam for my students which starts tomorrow.  Then I ate Japanese food with another teacher and topped that off with a McDonalds hot fudge sundae.

Tomorrow I will be teaching one class and giving them part one of their final exam as a Christmas present.  This will be followed by Skyping family and friends and possibly going downtown for a little taste of home. 

Peace Apples

Another thing that I discovered last week is that Chinese people gift each other apples for Christmas.  They gift wrap them in cellophane and ribbon and present them to their friends, coworkers, and teachers as presents.  This is because the word for apple ( 苹果 ping2guo3) sounds like the word for peace (平安 ping2an1).

Misconceptions galore

This week I had to explain to my students that we don't give apples as presents and explain who Santa is because they see him all the time (圣诞老人, literally "Christmas old man").  They didn't really know the story of Santa except that he gives everyone presents on Christmas.

I also taught the kids several Christmas songs these past two weeks.  First I taught them "Jingle Bells" because all they knew was the "Jingle bells jingle bells" part and then they just kept repeating that throughout the song.  This week I've been teaching them "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" and "Deck the Halls."  I knew they wouldn't do it, but no one sang "Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra."

So that is my little Christmas from over here in the Middle Kingdom.  Merry Christmas to you and your family and may it be filled with love, good food, and a healthy new year.  Be thankful for your family and don't forget to think about those who cannot be home for Christmas -- not me, but the soldiers around the world.  And now from the city I miss desperately...

圣诞快乐！

Chinese Internet: FTW or FAIL?

I tried to google "freedom toast" this morning and was stopped by the Great Firewall.  Apparently they have no tolerance for quasi-politically correct breakfast foods.  I decided that this is a good time to address the limitations of my internet connection in China.

Proxy servers

There are many proxy servers that work here, the main one being HotSpot Shield.  Unfortunately this does not work for Macs and will probably be the only moment that I wish I had a PC.  It's only a fleeting thought though and I immediately go back to being a Mac fanatic.

I use a proxy server and a web-based proxy server to access Blogger and Facebook, although I cannot post anything or interact with Facebook in any way.  It's pretty annoying, but has forced me to email people a lot more often than just doing the random 1-3 sentence post on walls.  This is a big plus, I guess, because email is much more thoughtful and personal than a Facebook message.

Blocked Sites

So how do I know if something is being blocked from me because of the Firewall?  Basically, when I try to load a website, my browser gives me the error message that says "Page has taken too long to load" even though it had only taken one or two seconds to get to that page.  Alternately, the website just never fully loads and the browser stays in the thinking position for a while.

Google images is interesting because sometimes the thumbnails show up, and other times they don't.  Then there's also the possibility of when you click on a thumbnail that you want to see, you'll get the browser error message.  This used to happen to Flickr two years ago, but that issue seems to have been resolved. 

The list of blocked sites

- Facebook
- Youtube
- Blogger (anything .blogspot.com)
- Google's Picasa
- Google image search
- sometimes Gmail goes out for a few hours, but is usually restored within the day.  This has only happened once this time.
- and growing...

China vs America

I am sick of being asked the question “Do you like America or China more?”

I swear, every other Chinese person I meet that is not a student or teacher asks me this. I’ve been asked by bus drivers, fruit stand sellers, jian bing guo zi makers, cab drivers… the list goes on. Call it a cultural difference, but it’s just annoying right now. I don’t think anyone in America would ever ask a foreigner a question like this.

Which leads me to think – why am I getting defensive in the first place? Granted, I do like China, but more in a sarcastic ‘oh-hey-I-got-dust-in-my-face-and-I’m-kind-of-sick-but-I-still-think-this-is-fun’ kind of way. I’ve discussed this with my fellow Sinophiles and we actually have concluded that none of us actually likes China. We’re not quite sure why we’re back here either. It’s not like you can actually be excited about squatty potties, getting shoved onto buses, and children wearing assless pants. Anyone saying that they actually love China is either completely out of their minds or has just convinced themselves that they love China so that they don’t run around screaming in the streets about how crazy their lives are.

Also, when you gather a bunch of China kids in a room the first thing we talk about is how sick we got. I mean, besides the ‘oh hey where were you? Did you like it’ sorts of questions. This always devolves into pretty horrific stories about how sick we got in China. For me, I tell my Shanxi province 4- day bus trip sickness story… oh man, it was bad. Ethan and Andrew were worse off, actually.

Anywho…

I began to appreciate America a lot more when I was here in 2007 and have no problem saying I am an American now. Nevertheless, I always tell the Chinese people that I like both countries so that I don’t get (a) ripped off, (b) dropped on the side of the road, or (c) lectured in rapid-fire Chinese.

But YES I do like America more. The country where I can drink water without boiling it (debatable in DC, actually), find toilet paper in the stalls, and have uncensored internet. End of story. Stop asking me, Chinese people.

PS: Sorry about the lack of posting. My proxy and internet (and gmail!) was on the fritz this last week. Happy belated Thanksgiving!

I am not a Chinese

I’m starting to get annoyed by the fact that I don’t look American enough and that I also look too Chinese. The guards at the gate always stop me asking for my student ID and then don’t really believe me when I say I’m a foreign teacher. This only happens when I am not with the other American teachers. Other professors here also don’t believe me when I say I’m a teacher because I kind of blend in with the students.

At the same time, when they see me on the street they know I’m not Chinese. I look so obviously Singaporean, or hua ren, overseas Chinese. I also don’t dress like a Chinese person and act pretty differently, even when not speaking.

I guess I should start using the big ‘c’ Chinese and little ‘c’ chinese.

I also got asked by students in both of my Friday classes why my hair wasn’t blonde. They don’t really understand the concept of being Chinese-American. It’s either you’re Chinese or you’re American. They honestly think I should have blonde hair and don’t understand why I don’t live in China or Singapore.

So on the whole, I’m having a good time here but this was just something that has become a daily struggle for me. I don’t look American enough to fully warrant myself as an English teacher but at the same time, am not Chinese enough to be one of them, obviously.

This reminds me of a quote I read when I was in high school and it said:

“For it is us, the hyphenated ones [Asian-Americans] living in the middle and getting the best of both worlds.”

Swine Flu!

Everyone in China is a little caught up about the swine flu and it’s kind of understandable after SARS. On the plane I was kind of paranoid because I was coughing up a storm after catching back-to-back colds, the latter from my adorable, yet incredibly infectious nephew.

Airport Scanners

When I arrived at Beijing and walked to the customs area, there was a medical screening area where they had these mounted thermal temperature scanners pointed at the crowd. I guess that whenever there is someone that turns up a bit in the red, they are pulled aside to the curtained medical area right behind. There was another second check where we submitted these forms that had questions like “Have you had contact with anyone with the flu in the past seven days?” and “Have you had contact with pigs?” Um, no.

My Non-Quarantine

I was supposed to be under a “voluntary” seven-day quarantine upon arrival. The other American teachers were pretty limited to the apartment building for a week, but since I arrived a lot later and the threat of swine is a little decreased, I wasn’t really quarantined and just won’t have any classroom contact until Friday. I’m very relieved to not have been!

University Gate Scanners

At the main gate to the university I am at, there are two people there with these temperature scanners. They strangely look like barcode scanners and also make a little ‘beep’ noise once they read your temperature. I tend to make a scrunched up face when they scan me because it freaks me out to have one of those pointed directly at my forehead. It’s really bizarre.

Medical Exam

I had a medical exam yesterday as a prerequisite to apply for the Foreign Expert Certificate (haha, I am an expert at being foreign!!). I had to get a lot of tests done, including an EKG, x-ray, sonogram, blood test, and physical exam. China is really thorough, apparently. So yeah… my first sonogram and first x-ray since they thought I had TB in high school. Weird stuff.

The Swine is an American Conspiracy

Apparently there is a video that is shown on Chinese flights that is basically a little cartoon about the swine. There is a visual showing the virus as arrows emanating from, oh hey, America! Forget Mexico, apparently the Swine was created by the US to take over the world. I can’t wait to see this video.

I start teaching classes this Friday, as in my tomorrow. I have two classes and hopefully have figured out a structure for the class. I got a lot of advice from some of the other teachers and basically get thrown into the fire tomorrow. And by fire, I mean a classroom of 50 Chinese freshmen in a vocational school. More details to come…

Oh and Matt is posting these until I get a proxy figured out. He’s the best, basically.